LGBTQ Couples Therapy in Charlotte and Davidson, NC

If any of the following sounds familiar, you might be a good fit for LGBTQ Couples Therapy:

You often feel like you argue about the same things over and over again.

No matter the trigger or how you try to approach it differently, the conversation always seems to end up in the same negative cycle. You want to work through it but you don’t know how to get past this one thing.

You and your partner/s have different desires for intimacy.

You want to want the same things, but often one of you is interested in sex when the other is not. Sometimes, it feels like you speak different sexual languages. Trying to “work” on it feels sad and often leads to conflict and/or one or both of you spiraling. You miss each other and you miss intimacy, but this gap often feels impossible to bridge.

You and your partner/s disagree on how much time to spend together.

You both love spending time together, obviously. But one of you would prefer to spend every second of every day together, and for the other, that feels like a bit much. Trying to negotiate time together often leads to hurt feelings and takes away from the quality time you could be enjoying! One of you feels abandoned and rejected, while the other feels crowded and smothered.

You are considering changing the “structure” of your relationship (i.e. “opening,” “closing,” or otherwise changing how you engage in monogamy or consensual non-monogamy).

You have been considering making a change for a while, but you and your partner are struggling to reach an agreement about the new terms of your relationship. You both have concerns about how this will affect you but you also share an interest in taking this a step in a new direction. You want to make sure that your foundation is solid and that you’re on the same page before making a major change.

You and your partner/s have different “styles” of fighting.

No matter what the argument is about, you and your partner have very different preferences for how you hash it out. One of you prefers to take time to yourself to regulate and the other wants to talk through every feeling right away. This leads to a lot of tension and frustration. Often, by the end of the argument, you’ve both forgotten what you were even arguing about in the first place because the whole thing has turned into a fight about the fight itself. You might not even have much to argue about, but whenever you get into it, you go in circles until everyone is at their most dysregulated!

You and your partner/s are going through a big life change.

Whether it’s moving, marriage, kids, or another one of life’s strange curveballs, you are under a lot of stress and your partnership is struggling. You want to act as a team through this challenging time, but when everyones’ emotions are running high, it’s hard not to let it get between you. You need some outside support to help you both cope and keep your partnership strong through this difficult time.

One or both of you is exploring a new gender or sexual identity.

You want to support your partner, but this change is affecting your partnership in ways you did not anticipate. You don’t know what this will mean for your future, what it means about your identity, or how it will change the life that you have imagined together. You are worried about the ways that this exploration will affect how you relate to each other romantically and you suddenly feel unsure about how to approach intimacy.

How LGBTQ Relationship Counseling Can Help

Partnership can feel like life’s most precious gift and greatest challenge all at the same time. Couples and partners come into my office looking for help with everything from conflict about household chores, to conversations around trust and non-monogamy - and everything in between. I use a holistic approach based on the extensive research of Julie and John Gottman and The Gottman Institute, to help partners understand and improve all aspects of their relationship, including conflict management, genuine connection and friendship, sex and romance, and dreams and plans for the future. After a thorough relationship assessment, I help clients identify goals that feel right for them.

During treatment, I will teach you and your partner/s tools for communicating effectively through conflict, while helping you identify areas of difference between you so that you can build understanding and empathy, even when you don’t always agree on everything. Some sessions may feel heavy, but other days, we will focus on strengthening your bond and friendship.

There is no one-size-fits-all for relationships or relationship therapy, and it is my job to support you in finding what works for your partnership.

However your relationship looks, you deserve affirming support that honors and uplifts your values, needs and desires.

If you are looking for an LGBTQ counselor to help your relationship thrive, reach out today to schedule a free 20 minute phone consultation!

LGBTQ Couples Therapy FAQ